Pokemon

A funny thing happened when I picked the kids up after work yesterday.

As soon as they were in the car they were both clamoring to go shopping at Game Stop.

"Woah, woah woah...slow down...One at a time," I said as I tried to make sense of their competing enthusiasm.

Carrick took the lead, "Can we go to Game Stop, like today? I decided I want to buy Lily's 3 DS."

I don't know if you know anything about gaming (becuase I sure don't), but my son does. At least, he knows about Pokemon and how it relates to his own Nintendo 3DS. He is quite  the "Pokemon Nerd" to use his favorite title.

To give you some back story, Lily expressed a desire to get her own Nintendo 3DS a few months ago.. She had been in quarrantine with her brother and decided that she needed her own gaming unit. Apparently she too enjoys Pokemon and wanted to play just like her brother. She asked me if that was something I would buy for her. I agreed, but only if she earned it.

I was not dilligent about making a rewards chart for her, and I just kept putting it off. Truthfully, spending money on a gaming system just wasn't high on my priority list. I figured as long as she got it by Christmas we'd be ok.

However, during quarrantine, Carrick realized that without his regular playmates nearby to trade Pokemon with (yes, you can trade between gaming units) he would not be able to level up and "evolve" his Pokemon. So he needed someone else physically near him to also play the game in order to trade and level up the critters.

This is a very big deal to him. He really, truly cares about the Pokemon in his game. In fact, he cares so much that it was worth it to him to drop $100.00 of his own Fun Dollars just to get access to the ability to trade. He was offering to buy his sister the Nintendo 3DS and the partner Pokemon game for her just so he would have access to her Pokemon!

Normally, this request would be a flat out "No." Why would I allow him to spend that kind of money on a gaming unit for a 7-year-old? I will admit, I was willing to do that, but I was thinking of actually getting it later in the year when she's closer to 8 and had actually earned it.

But since time was a facctor for him (and I knew he actually had the cash) I agreed to take the kids to Game Stop.

???

Yes, I let him do it. Why? Becuase he has earned my respect with his spending habits. I know how Carrick thinks about money. I knew that he would not be OK with a purchase unless he was absolutely sure about it. He has demonstrated that self-restraint with money time and time again. His offer to pay for his sister's gaming unit felt like an opportunity for me to show him that I trust his decisions with money. 

So, we did go to Game Stop. Carrick told the guy exactly what he was looking for. When we found the device and the game, the total was more than his $100.00 budget. ($122 when it was all said and done.) I reassured him I would take care of the extra.

After we returned home, I made a star chart for Lily. I told Carrick that every time she helps him out, he is allowed to add a star. Like when I ask Carrick to pick up all the socks on the floor, he can now ask his sister to do it for him. He has to let me know about it and we both initial the star. And if I need Lily to do something, I can add a star and let Carrick know so he can initial it. Lily is not allowed to add her own stars, but she can color in any stars that her brother and I add to the chart.

This way, her "repayment" of what we bought her is measuered and accounted for. I explained that without the chart, Carrick could just keep asking her to do stuff for him, even after what would be considered "just compensation". Also, the chart makes it worth it to both Carrick and me for spending our own Fun Dollars on the DS becuase Lily is helping us both out.

I also acknowledge the sibling bond that was created over this transaction. With a shared game to play, there might be a little less of the bickering? (Mom's hope) Also, Lily sees that her brother is willing to be generous to her and she feels included. Carrick feels empowered by his money decision and knows that I have respect for his money choices. I also think it's good for him to spend money on someone else. (Even though he does get some benefit from it, ultimately, this is a gift to his sister.)

I am really proud of my kids. They are both learning, and it's always a process, but I do think they're on the right track.

This Little Light of Mine

I realized just today how important my kids really are to me.

I have spent most of this shelter-in-place time at home, by myself, without my kids.

Some moms (or parents) might fantasize about how it must feel like vacation every day.

It did.

and it was lonely.

As a self-professed extravert this extended time at home has been a tremendous challenge.

I worked with it. I knew this was a weakness going into it.

and now, here we are, on the other side of shelter-in-place, allowed to get haircuts and eat outside...

And then this Very Sad Thing happened...



This is a Very Big Deal.

And the way I conduct myself around my kids when they return next week is going to refelct how I think and feel about this Very Big Deal...They are going to look to me. I need to help them understand what this means. It needs to be discussed. If I allow my children to remain ignorant of this Very Sad Thing, then I am contributing to the problem.

I will not be protesting, I will not be facebook posting. But what I will do is offer a place for my children to ask and learn on their level about what happened.

Even as I am here, struggling to understand this, I think the best place (for me) to start to understand this is with empathy. I can't wrap my head aroud the riots and the news and the clamour of the aftershock. But if I take a step back, and put myself in His Shoes...how would that feel?


I will never know.

All I really have is my own experience.

When I felt like death was coming.

I was 6.

When I was in kindergarten, there was a power outage during a storm.

My parents lit candles and set them on the dining room table.

I wanted to walk around the table and carry a candle, and my parents let me.

I started to sing "This Little Light of Mine, I'm gonna let it shine," and I started a lap around the table.

As I walked the flame quickly got bigger than anticipated, an caught my hair on fire.

In that moment, as a 6-year-old, I thought my life was over. My body was on fire and I would be gone in five minutes.

That is the closest I have ever felt to death.

I now need to extend empathy to the Very Sad Thing.

Your Pain is my Pain. Your suffering Is My suffering.


So what happened that I am still here to share this story?

I was saved.

He was not.

Could someone have saved Him?

The Save I received was from my Dad. He tackled me with his wool sweater. It saved my life.

No One Saved Him.

The person who did it could have saved him. But he didn't.



So, for you, Lost Brother, I offer this.

My Children, along with others sang This Little Light of Mine for Online Church a few weeks ago.



I would like to dedicate this from the Fun Dollars Blog to You.

I will sing for you.

I will remember you.




I was given grace to live from my Father. I will finishe the song that was cut short.

 Sing instead of argue. Be the Change. Be the Light. Carry it With you.



Fun Dollars for the Candle (at Aldi) $6.00.

THIS CANDLE IS LIT IN MEMORY OF 

GEORGE FLOYD

"This Little Light of Mine, I'm Gonna Let it Shine"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKy3cViRVjs&t=1698s

(right around 28 minutes)