Wednesday, December 9, 2020


 Kicking off our Girls' weekend, we lounged pool side and sipped coffee. Going over the "Itinerary" that Mr. Hubby left her, she read out what he had scheduled for us. 

"We have mani-pedis at NAMTI Spa at 1:00. So we should leave town by 12:30..." 

"That means I have to scratch off my Color Street..." I interjected. I never get my nails done at a salon. I am a loyal Color Street customer. Every two weeks I scratch off and replace the "nail stickers" as my daughter calls them.  

I hopped out of the pool and started the nail sticker removal process.

"Then we have a card reading at Mystical Bazaar at 3..."

"I've never had my cards read before," I called out from the edge of the pool. 

"Neither have I, and I've lived here pretty much my whole life." 

Sedona is known for its plethora of Crystal shops and psychics. So the fact that we had both lived there for as long as we did and never had a reading was significant. 

I was impressed that Mr. Hubby's Gifts were so spot on. I thought even though it was an inconvenience to remove my Color Street nails, I was glad he booked Mani-pedis over massages. At least we could sit and talk to eachother instead of being in different rooms. 

"Then we have Elote Reservations for 5:30!"

"Yay!!! Elote!!!" I clapped in gratitude for those reservations. 

Elote is where Bestie and I met. She was a server, I was the hostess. She and I were expecting our first kiddos when we worked there together. We went to the same birthing classes together. Then when our kids were born, we were frist time moms together. But it's all becuase we worked at Elote. So going to Elote has such a special meaning for both of us. 

I couldn't belive the day Mr. Hubby had planned for us. We needed to do this right. It's Covid, and we have one shot at a fabulous Girl's weekend! We went back to Bestie's house after we finished with the pool. We played dress-up from her closet. After zipping and unzipping, buttoning and unbuttoning, we finally landed on the "Mrs. Maisel" dresses. (She and I were both watching this show on amazon prior to the trip.) The outfits were a pair of 1960's inspired dresses that had been gifted to Bestie once upon a time. She had never worn them, nor taken the tags off them. So it was like putting on a new dress.

Our first stop was brought us to NAMTI spa. 

*Mani-pedis included champaign and chocoloate. Socially distanced and still able to chat.*

We headed next door after our nails were shined and our feet scrubbed. At Mystical Bazaar, we were greeted and taken into the back room for our readings. We both enjoyed getting some insight into what life had brought to us.

Once we finished, we had time to spare before our reservation at Elote. 

I decided that since I was visiting the birth place of Fun Dollars, what better thing to do than to visit my old haunts? We headed first to the outlet store in Sedona, Beall's. I spent many a Fun Dollar there. I found Judith Leiber Sunglasses, new boots and new black flats. I also scored some air buds, which I had been avoiding buying. I stuck to my old-school headphones for long enough. 

Then we headed to Tlaquepaque. This was a dream come true. Strolling through the brick-paved walkways dressed like Audrey Hepburn and turning heads everywhere we went. 

We stopped in at Caravan Jewelry, right next to the entrance to the chic eatery Rene. When I lived in Sedona, I worked for the owner of Caravana Jewelry. I assisted with the creation and manufacturing of some of the jewelry on display in the shop. Sometimes, I would get to take the new merchandise to the store and add it to the displays. I always loved doing this becuase of my background in fashion merchandising. (I love doing diplay work.) 

I picked up a pair of earrings I had always wanted. I decided to buy them and wrap them to give to myself as a Hannukah present. 

I also purchased a "Snowflake" ring. Besides the name being awesome, I love these "Snowflake" rings becuase they are all different. No two look alike. I tried all of the rings on, until I found one that fit. 

We left Caravana Jewelry and waltzed around visiting shops. We had to be careful where we wandered, though. There were three weddings going on while we were there and we had to dodge the camera patrol. We were diverted and shushed along with the thongs of tourists away from the wedding sites and photoraphers. 

Bestie and I finally found a place where we could have our picure taken that wasn't in the line of sight of a wedding photographer. 


And then...

It was time....

For ELOTE....!!!!

At their New Uptown Location! (behind the Matterhorn.)


I had the Lamb!!!!

Meat that fell off the bone with the slightest touch...

And of course...The Cadillac Margarita....

Thanks, Mr. Hubby! (Also he was our server.) 

(Also, we did get a VIP tour of the new kitchen...with know...the big deal...)


Our night ended with a cruise through Red Rock Country.  With the windows rolled down we rocked out to Fergie's Glamorous, and some other old Black Eyed Peas songs from our "dance party" days. The stars flooded the sky,  and I could not have felt more gratitude than in those moments spent with my Bestie. 

The next day found us doing Zumba on the Red Rocks and Meeting up with Bestie's Friends and Family. 

We finished the night in Old Town Cottonwood. With Bestie's parents and a few other old friends, we ate dinner at the Tavern then stayed around for the Park N' Cruise. Bestie's Uncle Jeff set up their classic rock cover band just outside the Tavern. They played Long Train Running and Born on the Bayou while we danced out hearts out. The classic cars were driving up and down the street, a few were parked, and it felt like it could have been 1968. Old Town has that old vintage vibe, and it was the perfect place to end the Surprise Bestie Birthday Weekend. 

So, why am I just now sharing this story? This all happened back in September. I am sharing this now becuase of the present I bought for myself at Caravana Jewelry. Not the earrings that I set aside for my own Hannukah present, but the Snowflake ring that I wear every day. This ring is my go-to every day to remind myself of what I am capable of. It gives me hope and inspiration when I feel otherwise depleted. The idea behind Hannukah is to remember that we have light within us always, even when we feel like the oil in our lamp is gone, depleted, we have to find a way to "keep burning". The Snowflake ring is that reminder. I can keep going. I do have it in me. No matter what happens, I know I can take care of myself. This ring was purchased with my Fun Dollars on a trip I paid for (twice) to visit the person I know I can lean on no matter what. The Ring reminds me of how far I have come professionally. I used to work for the person who designed this ring, but I dreamed of  coming home and not having to live in Sedona. While I was there, I was able to enjoy the dream. but then go home to my reality. I was so happy to come home to my kids after the perfect weekend with my Bestie. This ring reminds me of those two beautiful points of light I get to come home to every kids...

I should be so blessed. 

That is my light. 

That is my reminder. 

Happy Hannukah.

Mozel Tov. 

Sunday, December 6, 2020

The Birthday Wish

This past August as school started up again and the world slowly opened back up, I had a moment of severe impulse. 

My best friend (who lives two time zones away) had left me a video message on Marco Polo. She was showing me the house where she and her boss (with the same birthday) were going to have a joint birthday pool party. After the video tour of the Air B&B, she finished her message by telling me what she really wanted for her birthday. 

"I just wish you would be my sneaky best friend and fly out here and surprise me for my birthday, " were her exact words. This was a month before her 35th brithday. When I heard those words in the message I answered out loud, even though she could not hear me (becuase I was not recording) "Challenge accepted." As her best friend I have been "sneaky" before and surprised her twice previously for other birthdays. So, this was not out of the realm of possibility, but highly unlikely to happen. With Covid still present and considering the fact that I had already paid for a "Dream Vacation" this year, she really didn't expect me to fly out and surprise her for her birthday. It was a wish...

What Bestie didn't know was that I had plenty of Fun Dollars in my account after my Hogwarts adventure to take a trip out to AZ and make her wish come true. It would be my Crowning Acheivement with Fun Dollars; pay for a trip out of my extra and return to the birthplace of Fun Dollars to tell the story of a perfect Grils' Weekend. 

The day after hearing the birthday wish, I proceeded to contact Mr. Co-Parent to see if he would stay with the kids if I flew out to surprise Bestie. Since he is the reason she and I met in the first place, he was more than happy to oblige. He agreed to come stay at my house while I was gone so that the kids could go to school. 

After that confirmation, I booked my flight. I was set to arrive on the day of her birthday and pool party.

I then conacted Bestie's mom to let her know that I intended to fly out to surprise daughter for her birthday. I have known her mom for as long as we have been friends. She was so happy to hear of my plan. I needed someone our in AZ to be my contact point while I worked out the details of my trip. 

Since we still had a month before the actual birthday, I didn't want to contact Mr. Bestie's Hubby quite yet. There was too much time for it to "slip" and the surprise to be ruined if I told the person who actually lived with her and saw her everyday. I couldn't risk it. I decided to wait until a little closer to time before letting Mr. Hubby in on the secret. 

Next I emailed Bestie's Boss (the one who was sharing the birthday party). I wanted to see if Bestie was scheduled to work that weekend, and if so, could I just tag along? I didn't want to fly from IL to AZ during Covid if she was going to wrork all weekend. I wanted to make sure we were able to spend time together whether or not she was working. 

Her boss was so cool about it..She gave Bestie the entire weekend off! (Of course, when the day came that Bestie saw her birthday weekend work shedule, she was so excited that she had the whole weekend off. She told me about it in another vidoe message. I had to just smile and nod, and not let on as to why she had the entire weekend off...)

A little over a week after purchasing my flight, I recieved a text. 

"Can I fly you out here for your bestie's birthday?" came the message from Mr. Bestie's Hubby. 

I seriously almost fell out of my chair. In all the years that I have known this man he has loved his wife dearly, but has not lived up to her expectations for gift giving. Hearing him offer this gift, the gift of giving his wife some time with her best friend for her brithday, I was so touched. It was very hard for me to not share this with Bestie. I very much wanted to tell her that her hubby was already thinking of her and her birthday. Not only that, but he literally came up with the ideal gift all on his own! 

So, my answer was bitter sweet. I felt bad that he couldn't do what he wanted to do for his gift, but I really did need to let him know what I was up to at this point. 

"Well...I just bought tickets last week, actually," was my very meek answer. 

He said he would set something up for us to do together as a fun surprise. He asked if there was anything specific that I wanted to do while I was visting. I told him I deffinitely wanted reservations at Elote Cafe (at their new location). Elote is where Bestie and I worked when we became best friends. Mr. Hubby actually works there now, so it was not a problem to get that reservation on the books. 

Another week  by and I talked with Mr. Co-Parent to confrim the logistics of childcare and my trip. I had forwarded him my flight details so he would have them. 

"You do realize that flight leaves at 8:30 PM right?" he said in a metter-of-fact way. My heart skipped a beat. 


"" I said,  "I'll call you back."

I hung up the phone and immediatly searched flights for the day of the pool party. I found one that left at 11:00 a.m. my time and landed at 4:20 AZ time. This would put me arriving at the party at...6:30 p.m! Perfect! (Of course, this was assuming there's no traffic or wildfires on the trip from Phoenix to Sedona.) I bought the ticket then called Mr. Co-Parent back. 

It was in this moment when I realized that I could not put a price on my friendship. I could have just given up the endeavor and ate the cost of the first ticket. (There was just no way I was going to travel somewhere and reach my destination at 2 in the morning, which would have been the case with the first ticket.) 

I could have just bought a one-way ticket just to make sure that I got there, but I wasn't certain that my original ticket would get me back if I didn't use it as my arriving flight. I also did not want to try to call a customer service line and wait on hold to get the ticket sorted out. The one flight that would work might get booked while I was on hold. 

So in that instant, I decided, my friend was worth every penny of a second round-trip flight just to ensure that I am able to see her and surprise her for her birthday. 

We are that kind of close. Like sisters. 

The day finally came for me to fly out and "surprise my bestie for her birthday." I did not get tired of saying that in the airport. It brought a smile to all the masked faces. I told everyone I met what I was up to. 

I arrived ahead of schedule and Bestie's dad picked me up curbside at the same time my flight was supposed to be landing! We were out of the city with only 7 minutes of back-up on the 101. 

We arrived in Sedona right on time. Her mom met us outside the house at the pool party and told us where Bestie was in the house and that she was occupied.

I stayed behind while her mom and dad went in and had Bestie close her eyes. 

Her dad asked her, "What do you want more than anything for your birthday?" 

She didn't answer truthfully becuase she was put on the spot. She told me later that she really wanted to say, "To see Rachael" but she knew that wasn't a real possibility, until...

"On the count of three, open your eyes; One, Two, Three..."

And as everyone said three, I positioned myself right in front of my bestie's face. She opened her eyes and...

It was one of those moments I will never forget. She cried, we hugged, it was magical. 

right after I arrived


The entire weekend only got better from that point on!!! 

Remember what I said about Mr. Hubby planning something for his wife for her birthday?


The day after the pool party was Mr. Hubby's Gift Day. Bestie and I woke up at the pool party house (the Air B&B) and took a dip. 

And that is how we kicked off the Perfect Girls' weekend Sponsored by Fun Dollars...

to be continued...

Thursday, November 26, 2020

The Hannukah Hundred

 Well, Guess what, folks, This year is different. 

No matter who you are or where you live your life has likely been turned completely upside down at some point this year, right? Schools have been shut down. People have lost jobs. Life has put many of us in difficult situations and left us feeling emotionally exhausted. Parents being teachers, teachers being parents, the list goes on and on...

As I thought about all this back in August, I came to the realization that I really wanted to do the Holiday season differently this year. With all the "normals" of life in jeapordy, I questioned if I had enough emotional fortitude to get through a Christmas Season. I started to worry about all the "usual" Holiday things that brought the kids joy that we would possibly have to forgo. 

This thought stuck with me and I turned it over many times in my mind before coming up with a solution to my Christmas Connundrum. 

I decided that this year, I did not want to celebrate Christmas at all.  I didn't want to try to stuff myself  into a box of feeling "right" or "normal". Every time I came back to this idea, I found that it felt like the right thing to do. Skip Christmas, but instead, celebrate Hannukah!

We still get our family celebration. We still give and receive gifts, but we are going to look at the Holiday season through a new lense. No Santa, no baby Jesus. We are going to gain new perspective on life. All the expectation and "entitlement"  and the "normals" of Christams are out the window. We are going to make a memory as a family by doing something different

I know we are not Jewish. I know we can't just jump into a new Holiday tradition like it's no big deal. So as we prepare to celebrate Hannukah, we are also keeping up with the current Torah Portion for each week. I have been studying it myself and then sharing it with the kids at the dinner table.  I have always been curious about this Holiday. Ever since my father, Rev. Randy Robinson, took my Confrimation class to the Jewish Synnagogue when I was 13, I have held a respect for the Jewish faith. Visiting the Synnogouge stuck with me. I felt a connection to it that I just couldn't describe. As this year has progressed, I have found myself going back to my own roots of faith and right to Hannukah is where it lead me. 

So, this year, as an established single mom, creating her own way through life, I will have a Menorah in my home, and we will learn all about the Miracle of the Lights. 

When I told the kids my idea, skip Christmas and celebrate Hannukah, they were a little hesitant, but ultimately they both got on board.  They were willing to try something new along with me. 

As the time to celebrate draws closer, the kids have now realized they could make a "Hannukah list". I have to admit, its kidnd of enjoyable to hear the kids talk about "what they want" without attirbuting it to Santa. They are open about their desires and there is no pretense about it. 

Lily brought me her list. I read through it:

I stopped to ask her, about #7. "What does 100 Mom mean?" I asked her.

"It's the $100.00 you keep, the special one." 

I looked at her and tried hard not to burst out laughing. I did manage a chuckle. "You want me to just give you $100.00 for Hannukah." 

"Yes," she answered, "I want the one you got for your birthday."

She not only wants me to give her $100.00, she wants me to give her a very specific single $100.00 bill.

Earlier this year I recieved a card for my birthday containing this single $100.00 bill. I kept paper dollar and did not spend it. Until I needed to...I don't even remember why, but I needed cash in smaller bills and it just wasn't going to work that I would be able to get to an ATM. So, I asked Carrick if he could cash out the $100.00. He was saving up for his Harry Potter Vacation at that point and had plenty of cash. He gave me smaller bills and I handed him the $100. 

When the time came to go on vacation (back in March) Carrick tried to get me to give him replacement money so that he could keep his single $100.00 bill at home, safe, but also have that money to spend. I told him if he gave me the $100.00 I would cash it out for smaller bills that he could take that money with him and I would keep the $100.00 safe, but the dollar would then become mine again.  

He was not ready to give up the $100.00 bill. The thought of actually having a REAL $100.00 bill was novel to him. So, he left the bill at home when he went on vacation. It was his gurantee that he would still have money at home to spend on "non-vacation stuff" after we returned home, when the time was right. He wasn't in a hurry to spend it, but it was there if he wanted to. As it turned out, he returned home with money to spare after vacation. So he didn't have to even touch the $100.00 when he got back. The dollar just sat there, in his posession until...

The time came when he did want to spend the $100.00. He decided that it was more appealing to him to have money to spend than a $100.00 sitting in his piggy bank. He brought it to me and I gave him 5 twenties and he gave me the $100.00 back.  

Which brings me back to the Hannukah List...

Lily wants me to GIFT her that exact $100.00??? This girl literally asked for $100.00 for Hannukah?

(Would it be inappropriate to insert an 'Oy ve'?)

I am amused at the fact that she asked for such a thing, but also wondering, "would this have also been on her Christmas list? $100.00?!"

While I want to say to her, "that's not the reason for the season" what do I know? I am learning about this brand new...maybe asking for money is a part of Hannukah, I don't know. 

What I DID say to her, after a moment to gether my thoughts, was this,"You may have the $100.00. AND...You may not spend it unless you have earned $100.00 of allowance." Meaning, yes, the gift is yours, and you may not spend it until you've earned it. This means taking out the trash, cleaning the litter box, putting away laundry and clearing the table will all now be something she will want to do. She will want to spend that $100.00 and will work to be able to do that. I have found that motivation to get allowance money has been slacking with her lately. I am so happy that she found the motivation she needs to do what I need her to do! She is actually exicted about the prospect of hanging on to the $100.00 for a while and earning the right to spend it. 

My son was there for this conversaion as well. His jaw dropped when he heard that his sister wanted the $100.00. As he listened to what I required of her in order to recieve this gift, he realized what I was up to. There was a smidge of respect earned in that moment. My Best Fun Dollars student was learning a new lesson. We must work for what we want. Getting a $100.00 is a wonderful gift. And, let's be real, folks, I am a single mom and that trash is not going to take itself out. So if I can buy $100.00 worth of chores from my daughter for Hannukah, hey, that's a present for me too! Mazel Tov!

What Carrick doesn't know is that I am giving him a $100.00 bill as well. It will be the gift for the last night of Hannukah for both of them. 

Building family traditions. Making memories. I want the kids to look back and think, "Remember when the world was upside down and mom taught us that new thing and we made all those memories?" (And mom didn't go crazy trying to squeeze this strange year into the "usual" box.) 

Learning something new and celebrating a new tradition has given me something to look forward to without anxiety or pressure. Trying a different thing and letting go of all that I want the Christmas Holiday to be while still maintaining the feeling of gathering, family, gratitude and celebration. That is what I am after here. No matter what you choose to celebrate or look forward to for the rest of this crazy year, remember, it's ok to not want to feel stuck, its ok to want to get out of the rut. Light some lights for whatever you choose to celebrate and we will all get through these dark days together. 

The Hannukah Menorah I chose from Etsy. Vintage, brass, made in Isreal. 

Friday, July 10, 2020

Felines and Fun Dollars

Now that the kids are back after "covid" and the world is starting to feel a little more "normal" I have reached the point in my adult life that I feel like I can handle a little more responsiblity. 

Up until this point I have worried about "having enough". Can I live on my own and support myself? Can I go on vacation and still have some leftover Fun Dollars? Will COVID ever and and can I rely on having a job??? (I was laid off for 6 weeks during shelter-in-place.)

I noticed while I was living completely by myself as a sheltered-in-place human, I had a need for companionship while the kids are gone. I knew that the best choice for me to fill that space in my life was to get a pet. I needed a snuggler, a companion. I felt like starting out with a cat would be the way to go. 

I also knew that the kids would benefit form introducing a pet into our new home. It would "complete" that feeling of family. It would give them something to care for, learn responsibility with and give attntion to. It might even curtail some of the bickering if they could direct their energies into a sweet little furball instead of each other.

I knew that Carrick could handle having a cat. He is an animal person in general. He really likes to connect with critters. He has spent time with my mom (Nana, the Cat Lady), and he has learned quite a bit about how to interact with cats especially. She had an older male cat that didn't really like outsiders, but when my son would spend a week at his grandparents' house, she would show him ways to slowly make nice with the cat. She showed him how to be calm around the cat and to make him feel more comfortable. After a few times of spending a week with Nana and her cat, Carrick learned new animals skills, and knew more about skittish kitties. 

My daughter on the other hand is only 7. She mostly wants to treat kitties like baby dolls. She wants to hold them and love them, even if they don't want it. Her willingness to participate in their care isn't as readily available as her brother's. However, she can still learn and take responsibility because she is old enough (even if she doesn't "want to".) 

So, with all of this in mind, I recently recieved a call from a neighbor who had a litter of kittens. They were about 8 weeks old and were litter trained. They already had their first round of shots too! 

I wanted two kittens, and I had to clear it with my landlord first. Fortunately he is also a "cat person" and had no problem with me getting two kittens. If I were getting an older cat from a shelter, I would have been ok with just one cat. But since these cats were very young, I thought it would be better to have two. They would be able to play together. 

In preparation for this new adventure, I had set aside some Fun Dollars for a couple months. It was leftover Fun Dollars from vactaion (and surprise! it did not deplete my Fun Dollars account either!) Over the past few months (since I have been considereing this) I had set aside about a grand of Fun Dollars! Shots, spaying, toys, food, litter boxes and all the other stuff for the kitties would have to be covered by the budget I had in mind. This also included the pet deposit. 

We recieved our sweet little kittes this past Monday and the kids have really taken to them. Lily took some time to warm up to them and realized they did not want to be carted around like a baby doll. She now lets them come up to her (for the most part). Carrick is a Cat Whisperer. He is one with the cats. He gets up early just to feed them and have extra play time before we leave the house in the morning. 

We decided to name them after the two sisters in our "family movie". Ever since I was a kid, the movie Big Business is the movie my family quoted on a daily basis. It was the source of our family jokes. Its been a connecting point for us. I have since shared this movie with my kids to carry on the "tradition" so to speak. It's become a thing that they quote now! (It's hilarious to be at the dinner table and hear one of them bust out a line from the movie.) This movie represents family to me. Since these kitties are the completion to our family, we wanted to name them something that reflected the connection that we (as a family) share. 

Introducing, Sadie and Rose.

(The dark haired kitty is named Rose and her black and white sister is Sadie, just like in the movie.)

"baby doll"

play time

taking responsibility


Tuesday, June 30, 2020


A funny thing happened when I picked the kids up after work yesterday.

As soon as they were in the car they were both clamoring to go shopping at Game Stop.

"Woah, woah woah...slow down...One at a time," I said as I tried to make sense of their competing enthusiasm.

Carrick took the lead, "Can we go to Game Stop, like today? I decided I want to buy Lily's 3 DS."

I don't know if you know anything about gaming (becuase I sure don't), but my son does. At least, he knows about Pokemon and how it relates to his own Nintendo 3DS. He is quite  the "Pokemon Nerd" to use his favorite title.

To give you some back story, Lily expressed a desire to get her own Nintendo 3DS a few months ago.. She had been in quarrantine with her brother and decided that she needed her own gaming unit. Apparently she too enjoys Pokemon and wanted to play just like her brother. She asked me if that was something I would buy for her. I agreed, but only if she earned it.

I was not dilligent about making a rewards chart for her, and I just kept putting it off. Truthfully, spending money on a gaming system just wasn't high on my priority list. I figured as long as she got it by Christmas we'd be ok.

However, during quarrantine, Carrick realized that without his regular playmates nearby to trade Pokemon with (yes, you can trade between gaming units) he would not be able to level up and "evolve" his Pokemon. So he needed someone else physically near him to also play the game in order to trade and level up the critters.

This is a very big deal to him. He really, truly cares about the Pokemon in his game. In fact, he cares so much that it was worth it to him to drop $100.00 of his own Fun Dollars just to get access to the ability to trade. He was offering to buy his sister the Nintendo 3DS and the partner Pokemon game for her just so he would have access to her Pokemon!

Normally, this request would be a flat out "No." Why would I allow him to spend that kind of money on a gaming unit for a 7-year-old? I will admit, I was willing to do that, but I was thinking of actually getting it later in the year when she's closer to 8 and had actually earned it.

But since time was a facctor for him (and I knew he actually had the cash) I agreed to take the kids to Game Stop.


Yes, I let him do it. Why? Becuase he has earned my respect with his spending habits. I know how Carrick thinks about money. I knew that he would not be OK with a purchase unless he was absolutely sure about it. He has demonstrated that self-restraint with money time and time again. His offer to pay for his sister's gaming unit felt like an opportunity for me to show him that I trust his decisions with money. 

So, we did go to Game Stop. Carrick told the guy exactly what he was looking for. When we found the device and the game, the total was more than his $100.00 budget. ($122 when it was all said and done.) I reassured him I would take care of the extra.

After we returned home, I made a star chart for Lily. I told Carrick that every time she helps him out, he is allowed to add a star. Like when I ask Carrick to pick up all the socks on the floor, he can now ask his sister to do it for him. He has to let me know about it and we both initial the star. And if I need Lily to do something, I can add a star and let Carrick know so he can initial it. Lily is not allowed to add her own stars, but she can color in any stars that her brother and I add to the chart.

This way, her "repayment" of what we bought her is measuered and accounted for. I explained that without the chart, Carrick could just keep asking her to do stuff for him, even after what would be considered "just compensation". Also, the chart makes it worth it to both Carrick and me for spending our own Fun Dollars on the DS becuase Lily is helping us both out.

I also acknowledge the sibling bond that was created over this transaction. With a shared game to play, there might be a little less of the bickering? (Mom's hope) Also, Lily sees that her brother is willing to be generous to her and she feels included. Carrick feels empowered by his money decision and knows that I have respect for his money choices. I also think it's good for him to spend money on someone else. (Even though he does get some benefit from it, ultimately, this is a gift to his sister.)

I am really proud of my kids. They are both learning, and it's always a process, but I do think they're on the right track.

Friday, June 5, 2020

This Little Light of Mine

I realized just today how important my kids really are to me.

I have spent most of this shelter-in-place time at home, by myself, without my kids.

Some moms (or parents) might fantasize about how it must feel like vacation every day.

It did.

and it was lonely.

As a self-professed extravert this extended time at home has been a tremendous challenge.

I worked with it. I knew this was a weakness going into it.

and now, here we are, on the other side of shelter-in-place, allowed to get haircuts and eat outside...

And then this Very Sad Thing happened...

This is a Very Big Deal.

And the way I conduct myself around my kids when they return next week is going to refelct how I think and feel about this Very Big Deal...They are going to look to me. I need to help them understand what this means. It needs to be discussed. If I allow my children to remain ignorant of this Very Sad Thing, then I am contributing to the problem.

I will not be protesting, I will not be facebook posting. But what I will do is offer a place for my children to ask and learn on their level about what happened.

Even as I am here, struggling to understand this, I think the best place (for me) to start to understand this is with empathy. I can't wrap my head aroud the riots and the news and the clamour of the aftershock. But if I take a step back, and put myself in His would that feel?

I will never know.

All I really have is my own experience.

When I felt like death was coming.

I was 6.

When I was in kindergarten, there was a power outage during a storm.

My parents lit candles and set them on the dining room table.

I wanted to walk around the table and carry a candle, and my parents let me.

I started to sing "This Little Light of Mine, I'm gonna let it shine," and I started a lap around the table.

As I walked the flame quickly got bigger than anticipated, an caught my hair on fire.

In that moment, as a 6-year-old, I thought my life was over. My body was on fire and I would be gone in five minutes.

That is the closest I have ever felt to death.

I now need to extend empathy to the Very Sad Thing.

Your Pain is my Pain. Your suffering Is My suffering.

So what happened that I am still here to share this story?

I was saved.

He was not.

Could someone have saved Him?

The Save I received was from my Dad. He tackled me with his wool sweater. It saved my life.

No One Saved Him.

The person who did it could have saved him. But he didn't.

So, for you, Lost Brother, I offer this.

My Children, along with others sang This Little Light of Mine for Online Church a few weeks ago.

I would like to dedicate this from the Fun Dollars Blog to You.

I will sing for you.

I will remember you.

I was given grace to live from my Father. I will finishe the song that was cut short.

 Sing instead of argue. Be the Change. Be the Light. Carry it With you.

Fun Dollars for the Candle (at Aldi) $6.00.



"This Little Light of Mine, I'm Gonna Let it Shine"

(right around 28 minutes)

Saturday, May 9, 2020

Get Inspired

Once upon a time on facebook, a friend of mine posted an article from a newspaper that contained an interview of her. She was explaning how she got into stand up comedy. I was envious of her newfound fame as a stand up comic. I harbored a secret desire to try stand up comedy. I wanted people to watch me on stage and laugh. The fact that she was doing it and suceeding at it prompted me to find out just how, even as a mother, she could find a way to do stand up comedy.

In the article, she cited how hard she worked at it, about dealing with hecklers, failure and motherhood. In reading her story I felt the feeling of Envy change. Envy is really just that feeling of respecting something about someone else that you wish you could apply to yourself. When we transform that feeling of Envy into a positive, we are left with Inpsiration. You can use the feeling of wanting what someone else has for good instead of letting it eat away at you. So I decied to get inspried by her success as a comic instead of saying to myself, "Why her?"

Instead, I decided to ask myself, "What can I take away from her experience and use in my own experience?"

Well, me not pursuing stand up comedy was one thing. I really don't want to have to work that anything! I also really, really enjoy my bedtime. Having to stay up late and be funny in a comedy club (the reality of being a stand-up comic) isn't for me.

However, the part of her interview that inspired me was the fact that her stand up comedy career all began becuase of a list. She had made a list of "30 Things to do before I turn 30". On that list was to try an ameteur night as a comic. Just get up on the stage one time to say you did it. (After that, she liked it so much she did it again, and again...and so on until she is now touring with other comedians.)

So, the Inspriation for me was to make a similar list.

My list is now called "40 Things to do by my 40th year". I included the entire year I turn 40 becuase, well, my birthday is in Februrary and there are lots of things I want to do that year related to turning 40 that won't all fit in the first two months.

Also I started this list when I was 37. So I had a 4 year window in which to accomplish as many of the items on that list as I could (counting the year I turn 40.) I have lots of gal pals from all over that are wanting to plan trips for our 40th year. Some of those are on the list. There are bucket list type items on there as well, things I have personally always wanted to do. Some items are silly, some items are unmentionable. There are also items on the list that I have already checked off, like taking the kids to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. (Yep, that one was on the list.)

Since many of us are staying inside these days, none of the list is even on my radar. I can't go ride a mechanical bull right now. But what I can do is go through the list and share the applicable parts of it with the readers of Fun Dollars, becuase guess what? As I go through some of these, you are going to hear about it. How else do you think I am going to fund my little list? With Fun Dollars, of course!

So, in an effort to maybe inspire you to create your own post-pandemic bucket list (or whatever you want to name it) here is my list of things I want to do before the end of 2022, the year I turn 40.

1. Take the kids to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter- done
2. Take the kids to Nauvoo to tour the historcal village and eat dinner at the Hotel Nauvoo. (This would have been my son's feild trip this year, minus the dinner, and he missed it. My item was to chaperone his 5th grade field trip, but that was cancelled due to Covid 19.)
3. Take my kids to the Ice Cream Social at the church where I grew up. (It's a small-town event I want to share with my kids.)
4. Take a trip to Savannah, GA. (I went twice when I was much younger, but I want to go back as a grown-ass woman and really enjoy the town! I have plans with a besite of mine to take her for her 40th next year.)
5. Take the kids to Chicago for the weekend to see Museums and the downtown. (Maybe even have the grandparents come along too!)
6. Take the kids to St. Louis for the weekend to see the Science Center and the Zoo.
7. Spend the weekend in a cabin int he woods. -done
8. Go Kayaking- done
9. Canoe Sugar Creek with my family. (My kids, parents and my sister's family)
10. Go to a Cub's Game at Wrigley Field.
11. See Hamilton! (I have tickets for this one, but due to COVID it is rescheduled...but there's  not a date yet becuase we don't know when this will be over. The good news is, my tickets are still good!)
12. Tour a Frank Lloyd Wright house.- done (I took the kids to the Dana Thomas House last year in Springfield. That is when I discovered the joy of making my own dreams come true!)
13. Go Camping (in a camper) somewhere other than the park down the road.
14. Get Divorced- done
15. Change my legal name- this one is up for debate. I really want to have my own last name at some point now that I am divorced, but I will do this in my own time. It might not happen before I turn 40, so this one might get axed from the list...)
16. Visit Edinburough, Scotland
17. Eat Brunch at St. Mary of the Woods on a Sunday. (possibly with my parents becuase they live close to there.) This was a Sunday tradition from when I was in kindergarten. The people from church would caravan out there after church every so often in the summer time. I remember the vast dining hall feeling like the Great Hall in Hogwarts. I want to go there again as an adult. It's been about 30 years, but mom says they still do brunch there on Sundays...when there isn't a global pandemic that is.)
18. Visit a Hindu Temple.
19. See The Cursed Child on stage.
20. See the Book of Mormon on stage.
21. something silly I don't want to share- done
22. something inappropriate I don't want to share- done
23. Watch a Shakespeare play.- done
24. Attend a concert that is entirely Mozart music.
25. Start a Massage Business- done
26. Take my kids to see Barb, my sit-down dance partner, dance on stage.- done (Barb and I use the term "Sit-down dancer", meaning she is in a wheelchair, she is a dancer who dances while sitting. I wanted my kids to experience the wonder of seeing someone dance on stage that moves in a different way than what people would expect a dancer to move. Barb and I were fortuanate enough to be in a dance together last December. My kids got to see both of us dance on stage together again.)
27. something else silly I don't want to share- done
28. Something romantic I don't want to share- done
29. Take the kids to Mark Twain Cave- done
30. Read the remainder of the Nancy Drew collection I started when I was in 5th grade.
31. Visit my friend's micro brewery in Quincy.
32. See the Aurora Borealis in person.
33. Live entirely on my own.- done
34. Attend my 20th High school reunion.- It was supposed to be this might still happen, but it also might not,depending on how this covid thing shakes down.)
35. Ride a Mechanical Bull.
36. Visit my Bestie from AZ. Take a girls' weekend somewhere.
37. Take a vacation with my friends from grade school the year we all turn 40.

I left a few spots open becuase, well, there are some things that maybe I don't know that I want to do yet. Also, as I have started this list there are some things I realized I don't really want to do, they were just passing fancies. But everything else on this list are things that I have thought at some point or other, "Wow, I think that would be fun to do and I have never done that before." Notice that none of these include stand up comedy. It's becuase it's not something that was really importnat to me as it turns out. It was one of those passing fanices. Also, there are things that I would like to do that I don't necessarily have to do before I turn 40. (Like see the Pyramids in Egypt or visit Mayan ruins.)

This list gives me a place to go when I feel antsy or bored lately. I have started doing research on the cost of some of these items, timing, details, etc. I look them up just for fun. It's my Vision Board. It gives me hope. It INSPIRES me.

So, what is it that YOU want to do with YOUR Fun Dollars when this is all over? Where do you want to travel? What do you want to experience? What do you want to see happen in your life that you can decide to make happen all on your own? Make your own list and Get Inspired.